“To be happy, we must learn to use things and love people, rather than using people and loving things.”
Hello, young Padawan
As you probably know, or not, I am inexhaustible on personal development topics and more particularly on the subject of happiness. Why? Because living happily is better, isn’t it? Lol.
It’s one of my passions (after music, of course). As I’m born in the great category of people who are smiling and singing 24/7 (the one some people call “the happy idiots” but good for them, at least, I know what it’s like to be happy), I often get surprised or saddened by some of my peers who get lost in some “one day”, “when” and “if”. Happiness is not when you have this or that, or when your aunt will get two balls; happiness is right away.
And above all, happiness is not according to somebody or the judgment of this other somebody. Your life is your rules, your decisions, your tastes, and your choices. Here is the subject of today, some keys to happiness, let’s go.
Do not consider yourself in the eyes of others
If you expect to be approved by every human being living on this earth to be happy, then good luck. Not only will it take you crazy time, but you will have to annihilate your personality. Why? Because if you are truly yourself, you will not please everyone.
Besides, do you have to please the majority? What would it do if you decided to don’t care? Lil’ spoiler: Since we cannot please everyone, even by forcing ourselves to do everything in our power, why not just be yourself? And also, it saves time, because those who bend body and soul to the desire of others arrive finally into the mode “I do not care” anyway.
Why do some people have difficulties with this way of thinking? Because we are in a society where we are taught since childhood to be like everyone else, to have nothing that goes unlike the others, not to disturb, everybody to walk as one man, like a colony of ants. But here is the thing, society has forgotten a tiny detail: We have a relatively developed brain at the cognitive level. So it cannot work. Either we are an all gray and sad tribe of neurotics, or we are a happy mess of outsiders with a feather in the ass, but not everyone, otherwise we would become neurotic. Do you understand the nuance?
What is suitable for you is not necessarily good for the neighbor, and vice versa, so what’s the use of judging others? why wanting to get them into your triangle mold while theirs is square?
The only person who can afford to judge you is yourself. And the only person you can afford to judge is yourself. And nobody else.
One last thing: happy people don’t waste their time looking in others’ lives. Those who do it are to be pitied because they are not happy — a word to the wise.
To get to know oneself, to love one’s qualities and faults
To be happy, you have to be satisfied with what you are. So it is more than helpful to get to know oneself. To really know oneself, not only looking at one’s faults but also one’s qualities, and being proud of them.
In society, people who love their own self are considered selfish, again judgment. But in the end with a little experience, we realize that to love ourselves is not a rude word. On the contrary, to love the only person in the world with whom we will spend 100% of our life does not seem so crazy to me.
By making the step of loving yourself, you are acquainted with peace, harmony, and gentleness. And you finally become available to really love others for who they are, rather than expecting them to be the way you want them, to heal your wounds, or worse: wait for them to make you happy. We have already seen it in a previous article, but it seemed useful to repeat it here.
Do not wait until you have accomplished all yours wants to be happy.
Happiness is not limited to the few great days of your life like your graduation, your wedding, your funeral (oh oh! did you missed my second degree? lol, ed). Nor does it present itself as bliss that would fall on the corner of your head once all your challenges have been accomplished, like a shower of glitter coming out of the asshole of a unicorn.
Finally, it is even less in the things you own.
Indeed, I know people who have more than everything materially speaking, and they are not happy.
If you think that a Ferrari will make you happy you’re wrong, if you think it might be nice to drive this sort of car one day, with all the radars that we have everywhere, it could make you pass the want to have fun with (humor, sarcasm, of course! ed).
Every opportunity is good to smile (even the terrible puns of your faithful servant, ed), each microscopic moment of pleasant life is happiness, you just have to be aware of it, then decide. The difference between enjoyable time and happiness is awareness. If you do not realize that the sunset that makes you smile makes you happy, you will not be.
Do not let be polluted by one’s daily worries and stress
Why constantly thinking about things that have happened, or that could happen?
Whether you believe in the future or not, whether you are afraid of it or not, it will not change the future.
As for the past, leave it where it is, it’s a memory, it can’t do anything against you now.
When it comes to everyday’s stress, it’s up to you to make healthy decisions to live a fulfilling life. There is good stress, the one that gives you motivation and makes you progress, and then there is the one to eradicate from your life.
visualize, integrate every harmonious moment of our life
If you want to be happy, really happy, you’ll have to learn to enjoy every moment of joy, every moment of your life.
You are making your favorite tea? Enjoy this moment as if it were the day of your birthday. You are spending an afternoon with your best friend? Appreciate it thoroughly to make yourself lots of laughs and good memories. You are going to work and the sun is rising? Take a picture of this beautiful moment and send it to someone you know who will smile. You do not work today? Take the opportunity to take care of yourself and those you love, watch your favorite movie, or enjoy a nice walk in the forest.
Not forgetting that the only person who can make you happy is yourself. Every pleasant moment, be it thin or grandiose, is a moment of happiness, if you have decided it.
Here are some secrets of happiness, my dear Padawan, to know how to take advantage of every sweet moment of your life, to use things and to like people, while not paying attention to what can say or think those who would have the arrogance to judge you.
Every day of your life is precious; it deserves to be happy.