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Hello, Young Padawan
Good resolutions lead to failure. Well, that’s all for today. See you and happy new year huh!
Haha, I bet you were afraid that I would leave you completely sheepish, with this truth about new year’s resolutions that sucks and you know it very well deep within you, with your hiccups of turkey (or tofu) and alcohol (or alcohol) that you just finished digesting.
No, I will not leave you in the twilight of Tuesday night, in this start of the year mini-depression, because yes, it is 5 pm and tomorrow you’re working (oh shit!). Do not thank me for reminding you that: you’re welcome.
The pressure that makes one starts to plan to do this or that is a barrier to its realization.
Do not confuse motivation and pressure: There is a significant difference. Indeed, the new year’s resolutions are pressures to ourselves, so they leave more room for failure than for success. But there is a primordial attitude to have, to avoid this, which I would call the “not giving a fuck” approach…
It’s all about angle of view
Note the difference (true story that happened to a friend at two years apart, that we will call “Benjamin” here. Since you will go through there: wassup stinker!😉):
– Benjamin makes new year’s resolutions that from January 1st he goes back to the gym, like: “get ready to rock!”.
He wants a beach body for this summer. The chocolate bars, he decided to no longer eat them but to display them proudly like Steve Carell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin (he had said Jason Statham in Fast and Furious in fact, ed).
Anyway, he tells me he has no more choice because he does not fit his jeans anymore. The result? Uh … in late February he was eating cheese and skiing, with more cheese than ski, and October arrived, and he was at the same point. Finally not quite: during the year, he had bought some jeans…
– the following year, Benjamin decided to don’t give a fuck anymore.
After all the girls like him, at least his girlfriend and that’s what matters to him. He loves his new jeans, smiles to life and after all, he says: “no one is perfect” with a little grin suggesting that his little belly was his only flaw (it was for fun, of course, Benjamin is a man full of cheese certainly but also full of second degree).
One morning in 2015, he can’t remember which one because for the record he “does not give a fuck,” a gym opens next to his office. He decides to join it out of curiosity and starts going twice a week. It starts to please him because he notices that he is surprisingly less and less tired at work. He made two new friends who convinced him also to try the Thursday night class which is a boxing training. He is having a very good time on Thursday night with his friends, especially after because they go drinking a well-deserved beer together lol.
Without realizing it, he went to three training sessions a week for several months, even if Thursday does not count, it’s to have fun with the pals. And without realizing it, we were in mid-June 2017 and one evening he said to his girlfriend (true): “hey darling what did you do with the washing machine? Look at my pants, I look like “Dopey,” the thing is twice too big ! “. His girlfriend laughs before answering because it’s crazy not to notice something so obvious: “Yeah man, you’ve lost weight!”
Here he is, running into the living room, coming back two seconds later: “hey darling, look, I fit in my old pants!” he said, twerking his ass like Kim Kardashian (or a wet old turkey, I let you choose your favorite picture, ed). Then turns around: “Look at my abs! That’s insane!”
What is the difference? It is the letting go: When suddenly, we let go, and we decide to fuck it totally: that’s where everything happens.
What do we do on January 1st if we do not make good resolutions?
First, you’re recovering from staying up late (drunk), then you take two large (blowfish tabs) breaths, you bring yourself a moment of maximum kindness and then you think about your small or significant defects or complexes that you absolutely want to change this year. And you smile, you accept them: “I smoke,” “I’m overweight,” “I’m too nervous,” “I look like a green bean on a drought day (Schwarzenegger’s oxymoron).”
Then you realize: “ok, nobody is perfect and everyone has complexes.” You welcome your faults, and you laugh about it, these bad habits, these love-handles, this temper, this imperfect body. You bring the maximum benevolence to yourself. Once again, you are the way you are, so you love yourself as you are. After all, you have a plethora of qualities, these little imperfections of yours will not spoil this wonderful adventure that life is, you still have so much to discover, to enjoy.
Yes, listen to me: “you love yourself just as you are, for god sake.” That’s the key.
To make a change, you have to go through self-acceptance, with its flaws and complexes. Change is only the last link.
Accept yourself as you are and you will change. That’s the key..
Accept to finally evolve
It is in the acceptance of your imperfections that you open your eyes to possibilities or opportunities, this way you will find the strength to go to the positive of your life.
The more you accept your flaws and the more you will be free of them. The more you will be open, aware and benevolent about your insecurities and the more your brain will let go and will be open, not to change but to the evolution of your personality, this includes the changes you will make.
Because the goal is not to change some habits temporarily but to evolve definitively towards new ones.
You cannot hike in the mountains with a heavy bag (Are you in my metaphor or you still have a headache? No worries, you can hangover, we’ll talk about it in a next post).
And the icing on the cake, the cherry on top? The more you will be free from the good resolutions and the more you will appear confident and charismatic toward the others. So go up the paragraph and exercise your brainpower for a week. Program yourself to self-acceptance, with all the love and consideration you can bring into it. You are worth it, you are worth living the life you want, you deserve it.
Namaste, and all my best wishes for your personal fulfillment.
You have the key now: Love yourself as you are.
Enlighten kisses 🙏
La Plagne, Savoie, France.