« The greatest tragedy is not death, but what dies in us while we live. »
Hello, young Padawan
Today we won’t do dirty jokes, but dealing with a topic that is particularly close to my heart, or rather to my guts: mourning.
It is, with the greatest humility and kindness possible, that I will try a philosophical approach …
I often hear:
“A lost being leaves a huge void. He takes a piece of us with him … ”
I do not agree. Yes, I protest, rendezvous at Hart Plaza for the march with my “I do not agree” signs.
the first phase
In the first phase, we are very sad. It is the lack, the despair, it is unfair, we are lost, sometimes even revolted: It is too early, or it should have been us instead of him.
This time is necessary and useful to mourn, we often refuse it at the beginning because we need some time, which differs according to each of us, to be able to accept it.
We have all been there, directly or indirectly. We have to mourn, we have no choice but to face it. All our daily habits will have to be relearned. We need the necessary time to be able to continue our life in the future, without him.
So, we have a heavy heart. This heaviness that breaks our hearts from one end to the other, we all know it, except that we do not understand it at first. The sadness, the pain of lack is the consequence, however, I have another theory.
what if we had been given something?
Listen to your heart, listen to your emotions … we are so heavy, he is so light … it’s so logical:
He leaves us here on this earth, all his wisdom, all his love, all his memories, all his experience.
A part of him lives in us now, philosophically speaking. When he dies he leaves in us a piece of his personality. And not the inverse. When we understand it, the catharsis that operates allows us to come back stronger. Then we are appeased because a part of him lives in us for the rest of our lives. All that he has brought us, his love, our common memories, his experience, his protection: all this makes us stronger.
We are not empty, we are full of love, that’s why our heart seems so heavy, it must make a new place during this time of adaptation we call mourning.
« You are no longer where you were, but you are everywhere where I am.»
Is not your thing a little weird?
Life knows how to remind us how precious it is. It imposes on us a lot of great and terrible adventures, it’s up to us to decide how to live them.
It is a long learning where everything is subjective, everything is a question of interpretation; in the end, you will go through this hardship, so it is up to you to decide the meaning you will give in the long term: an empty heart, despair and regrets or a heart full of love, appeasement and open eyes on the collateral beauties. It’s up to you to see if there is a hint of philosophy in your heart to live in peace with yourself and the others.
In conclusion, one question: The day you passed away will you want the people you love to be sad enough to ruin the rest of their lives? I guess no, so know that it’s the same for your wonderful people who have passed away. Braving also hardship and mourning until their death, they wish you to be happy and that you continue to move forward on your little way, as they did because that’s also life.
But this one, in particular, is yours. It’s your life, your book that you choose to write day after day and you decide what you put in it, it’s up to you to choose if you want to put pictures in black and white or in color.
Would not it be a good time to realize that, and enjoy those who are still alive just like you, today, now, as long as they are here, as long as you are here?
I leave the last word of this article to Paolo Coelho: « To be happy in life, we just have to welcome what comes, and let go of what is going away ».
So live, and be happy, goddamnit!
Rainbow Kisses 🌈