« To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. »
Hello, young Padawan
I bet that you raised your eyebrows seeing the title of this article like “Aw, she’s big-headed so bad, a watermelon instead of her head, she won’t be able to cross the doors soon!” Do not take off your juicer from the cupboard right away, I reassure you, this title is for you, for us, and of course, a little for me.
You know I like to move your neurons from side to side, and this week, it’s spanking time again. No, I’m not talking about the one you’re going to have after your romantic dinner tonight, little rascal, but the intellectual spanking, the one you take when you read something obvious, but you may not have fully understood before.
And talking about understanding, in this perfect image society, the era of the Internet where everything is done to develop complexes, even in the areas that made you the proudest about yourself, we’ll have to hit hard.
They are not your friends
Let’s say that if you start everyday with a little scroll on socials, like Facebook with your cousin Brenda’s photos in a bikini on the beach in Malibu, or Instagram with Gisele or Robert and their perfect bodies, or even Pinterest and Monica’s pics who gives you the want (or frustration, ed.) to change all your furnitures and all your clothes, or finally Twitter and Ricardo who bought the last Maserati Levante, it’s not surprising that you want to go back to bed with a huge sleeping pill. At least in dreams, you have the life you want.
But why did you subscribed to such accounts? The life you want, the life you dream about, what is it? Do you want to join Brenda at the beach? Do you want to steal the spotlight from Gisele or to have Ricardo’s car? Really? Would you like yourself more if you had those? And deep down, do these people truly love themselves, are they in harmony with themselves?
I could not answer that question because I have never met them, but the one thing I know today with absolute certainty is that when we look too much at what others do, we lose ourselves. In order not to be lost, we must be who we are, and to be, we must love ourselves.
So, in the morning, if you want to help your self-esteem: do not touch your phone. Listen to your favorite music, prepare your favorite tea or coffee and dance in the shower. And unsubscribe to those accounts that waste your precious time and bring you nothing positive.
If there is one thing that helps self-love, it is life plans. Because having projects is transposing yourself in the near or distant future with a positive outcome. And that is cool.
For that, we must learn how to enjoy spending time alone, with our little soul, learn how to tame ourselves. The goal is to be no longer afraid of loneliness to listen and let our real wants speak finally, and not those that society would like us to have. Alone with oneself, many take it as a punishment, I see it as a privilege. The privilege of being able to focus, and then to make moves, the right ones. And plans are part of the focusing. Where am I ? Where do I want to go?
So do not skimp on projects, from the smallest to the most ambitious. The simplest to achieve will bring you confidence when you realize them, and the most giant ones will give you great motivation and trust in the future because you will know where you want to go.
Note all those projects in a small notebook before falling asleep; you will surprise yourself to make sweet dreams and wake up with joy and motivation!
Life is made to progress on one’s goals, and paradoxically it also makes us more available to others because it makes a clear head.
The love of others
And the others in all this? If you love others without loving yourself, you will love them badly.
I skip a line, lol, I know you raise your eyebrows. But note that it is easily verifiable. Look around at people who have problems in their couple, family, their children, their friends, or who blames, judge, criticize, or who have totally insane expectations. It does not make them or us bad people, just beings who do not give themselves enough love, not enough forgiveness, who do not give themselves the right to go forward, to live in the present, and finally to leave the past where it should be, i.e., behind us. We all once belonged to one of these categories, but well-being is the opposite of this state of mind: it is with self-love.
Love is not wanting someone to tidy up his panties or do the dishes, nor that somebody does this or that for you. If you want the dishes to be done at a fixed time without getting your hands wet, there is a practical solution for this: to hire a cleaner. Or organize a house cleaning party with babe in a panther thong at home (note: without the children, ed).
Nevertheless, to love others is to have commonality in interest. Adrian Monk will never remarry with Miss Piggy unless she’s only dirty in privacy. Do you follow me or are you swimming? By the way, I often hear the ideal couple described as a synchronized swimming tournament, everyone raises their arms at the same time (you saw eh, I did not say the leg, ed.). But love is not to be a robot who repeats a choreography learned by heart, nor to forget oneself to please the other, by neglecting what one was made for.
Love is chaos but with respect, to move in the same direction but not with the same GPS, and especially forget one’s pride and one’s animosities when the other needs support. To love is to know how to forgive, oneself and others. To love is to be there at all costs for those chosen within our clan, including ourselves.
What if I’m alone for Valentine’s Day?
So you’re going to share this evening with the most important person in your whole life: yourself.
Whether you’re alone, as a couple, with friends, with your dog, or your goldfish, it’s a day like any other after all. It’s up to you to decide what you want to do, to celebrate it or not, to be happy or not, but know that you decide and no one else. You can choose to make a nice meal tray with the food you love and watch a good movie or read a great book, your evening will be no less fun.
You will have understood where my conclusion will go: Valentine’s Day should be above all the celebration of self-love, because what is the point of trying to love others if we do not love ourselves? So, love yourself.
Whisper this, or say it out loud if you aren’t shy: “I love myself.”
This is your new daily Mantra my young Padawan, repeat it as many times as you have doubts about it, and believe me, with a little bit of training, it will print in the neuron box. To cheer up with the spices of your choice:
“I love myself” and I respect myself,
“I love myself” and I forgive myself,
“I love myself” and I am strong,
“I love myself” because I do my best, and it’s already a lot!
Love yourself, love the others, love each other, for *** sake.
Altruistic kisses. ❤️