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Hello, young Padawan
Here we are, in this famous sadness that touches many of you in this season. Yes, I say “you” because I’m fine, thank you, I’m waiting for winter that comes slowly, my favorite season (You see if I had to be sad I would do a summer depression lol).
But is autumn the responsible?
And what is seasonal depression? Our friend Wiki tells us that: “It is a mood disorder characterized by depressive symptoms usually occurring during seasonal changes. Most often, depressive symptoms start in the autumn and winter when the season changes, when the hours of sunshine decrease, only to disappear when the season is over”. (source: Wikipedia.)
stop undergo life
While the alarm clock rings the drama begins, you feel it’s unfair, sad mode activated.
The luminosity of the days is decreasing, the summer is going away, the beach is abandoned but life is not only pleasant in a glitter thong on the beach in Miami and you know it. While it should be a matter of light therapy and a shot of vitamin D you realize that there is something else …
The holidays are over indeed, but there is also the work that started again, with the sad “subway-work-sleep” routine, the face of a colleague that you cannot stand anymore, your children or your spouse who do not spare you, the next holidays are still far away, your tan is only a memory and the luminosity is decreasing. Sexy. Seen under this angle that’s a dream come true, gimme a rope and push me the stool.
The small detail that we do not think about when we are self-centered on our “October sadness”, is that at the end of the day we decide to choose the reading of our own situation. We can decide to undergo, to see our life with sad gray glasses, or to decide to be active in our daily lives to see it with pink flamingo glasses.
Happiness is a choice
Happiness is a choice, you can frown as much as you want, it’s a fact and with a little practice, you can choose it in all circumstances. Don’t need to take the example of the little Indian gentleman (among many others) who does not own anything, not even the running water, barely eats his hunger (and his is much smaller than yours, no pun intended…), and guess what, the guy is happy, enjoys every day, every moment of his wonderful life.
“But, how do I do that ??” For this, it is necessary to apply some simple physiological and psychological rules. For the physiological rules, I refer you to my article here where I resume the main tips, for the psychological side we will work on it today because I do not like to know that you are sad, it breaks my little marshmallow heart.
CHOOSE THE READING OF OUR LIFE
Let’s take an example: You do not like your job but you have to wait to do this professional training to quit and finally live the life you have wanted? Well then, you have to become active in this waiting rather than suffer into it. Let’s say you’re an accountant and you want to be a pastry cook. Get up in the morning like: “great, it is Monday morning, I will take the opportunity to bring a book about my future training in the subway to start to familiarize myself with my new life.” In the subway you start to read books of pastry technique, you familiarize yourself with the many terms related to this profession, everything is shaping in your little brain, you become active in your waiting, you do not undergo anymore and you start to manage your life again. When you come to work time passes as quick as a blink of an eye, certainly, your job does not interest you anymore but it is the one that allows you to access your dream, so it is worth it.
You have experienced in the past and realized that to be negative, passive, to undergo a situation does not work. You do not evolve, you stagnate in your intellectual poop. The key is to look at the positive, to train on the bright side of the force rather than the dark side of it. It is human nature and when we understand it, we have the gas that furthers our motor of motivation, and therefore success. We just have to decide it, to get motivated and as soon as we have a foot in it, it is our entire mind, heart, and soul that is into it.
“I decided to be happy”.
You can say it out loud: “I decided to be happy”. And you will be.
working on ourselves
Once again, I assure you it’s just a job to do. You do not need a billion dollars or a supermodel by your side to be happy. We evolve by motivating ourselves with positive, not by watching others get what they want by thinking they are lucky. We must go and get what we want. And for that, you have to focus on yourself. No, to be a little self-centered is not a rude word, you have to know how to take care of yourself. The key is to get to know oneself and to love oneself in order to truly love others for what they are intrinsically, and not for what one would like them to be.
It’s okay to work on yourself, but when it is about to pass oneself “before” the others, many of us have a mixed feeling, as if they had made a big bad mistake. This feeling of “bad conscience” is very common.
However, when we work on ourselves we discover that this feeling of abnegation is not as noble as we thought. It is above all our ego which speaks to us like: “What will people think of us if we think of ourselves before our family or friends?” In fact, by this behavior we seek to have a good reputation, we are not the generous one but the person who seeks to have a value and recognition in society or a feeling of wanting to be indispensable for the others. A good kick in the ass in short. But it’s freedom of the mind and conscience!
To take care of ourselves is not selfishness, it is the basis for being fine in our lives. Because if you think about it, to undergo your situation is a much greater self-centeredness behavior because your sadness trains down the people around you, whereas if you take more time to discover, to know, to love yourself properly, to go to the happiness side, you will pull all your entourage up because yes, happiness is contagious.
If you invest in your self-knowledge a little, it implies that you will be a little less available for the others indeed, but the less time you give them will be better quality at the end. It will be because you will really want it, not because you consider it as an obligation. The best friend, the best husband, the best parent is not the one who is the most available, he is the one who is really there when we need him the most.
You will have understood that just like the cicada even if we sing all summer we cannot ignore our self-knowledge. We can learn alone with meditation, reading books, writing a journal or going to see a shrink. A good psychoanalyst can save you 10 years of wisdom in a few sessions (and without a wrinkle more).
The only person you can make happy in life is yourself. (You have already read it here but in case you forgot). Your life is precious, you only have one, so be happy for god sake.