The realm of cheating, or the art of self-tanning





“Turn to the sun and the shadow will be behind you”

Maari proverb – rather pragmatic, lol.






Hello, young Padawan



It’s in gloomy weather – at an end of April as depressing as a minute of watching FOX news, that’s to say if it’s depressing – that I’m going to talk to you about the sun. Well, “false” sun.


At this time of year, we’re usually on top of our no-tan complexion, not a bit of honey skin on the horizon. For my part, I call it the “bidet” or the “sink” complexion, lol. Unfortunately, this is also the time of year when we want to start putting on our first sandals and T-shirts, or our first skirts and spring dresses, so a little fraud would be welcome. Do you see the trick? I think so.


Today, we are going to talk about cheating, fake, superficial, but god sometimes it feels good. Even if the self-tanner is to the look what the apathetic gaze is to poker, if it can give the illusion that we’re back from a week of vacation in the islands, even just in our dreams, let’s sign. A great grey day to talk about self-tanners and else, let’s go.





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Self-tanner, the real one

Should I remind that the self-tanner does not protect from UV rays in any way? I think not.


The one who lasts 10 to 15 days (even a month, if you put on two layers) that if you apply it badly, you will have to stay behind a striped half-shade curtain, to give the illusion that you’re not zebra, it’s the curtain – Try the “editorial photography” pose, it might work, lol. Nah I’m kidding, two successive scrubs and there will be nothing left, no worries. But to avoid a little (or big) disappointment, before talking about the products and seeing yourself end up looking like a half-over-cooked, half-raw roast chicken, let’s talk about application tips.



-For beginners: The self-tanner requires patience and thoroughness. Using a colored product, to see where you forget to apply it is hardly recommended. Honestly, take the special glove to apply your self-tanner, you will see there is a real difference. I have the one from the St Tropez brand but I think they are all about the same quality. Personally, when it comes to the type of product, I prefer the mousse, which is easier to spread. Remove any clothing, any jewelry, you have to be naked to proceed with a correct application.


-Pay attention to the color of the self-tanner and the intensity of it. Indeed, there are some with olive tones (DHA) which are suitable for skin with more pink / neutral undertones, and others more red (beta-carotene) for skin with more golden undertones. They are available from light to ultra-dark. The more you choose a product that is far from your natural skin tone, the more risk there is of being disappointed with the result. The self-tanner is therefore chosen in relation to the sub-tone of your skin (pink, neutral or golden) and your color (light, medium or dark).


-Prepare the skin before by making a scrub the day before, and by moisturizing the skin well, after the shower. Half an hour before applying the self-tanner, apply moisturizer on the joints (elbow, knees, ankles, etc.) and on the soles of the feet and hands. Be careful with hairs: applying self-tanner to an area that has hairs (for example beard, armpits …) will color everything orange. If it’s to make a joke, it’s okay, if not, avoid the area.


-Always apply it area by area and starting by the middle of the chosen location, ending with the joints when there is only the excess product on the glove, otherwise you will end up with orange-brown elbows, ankles or knees. For example, for a half-leg, I spread two pumps of product starting with the tibia and the calf, making small circles in all directions, and then ending with the ankle and the knee when I no longer feel product on the glove (or the hands and elbows when I do the arms, ed). Obviously, do not do the palms of the hands and feet.


-Remember, again if I haven’t been clear, to only do the joints or the “endings” with the excess product on the glove. Never add product to do the neck, feet or hands for example. If you decide to do only the legs: go up on the top of the leg and the buttock with what remains of the product on the glove, at the end of the application; same way for the feet, just not to have demarcation.


-Shake the product well each time you add some more, and take your time to massage by making small circles, up and down, right and left, clockwise then anti-clockwise.


-Stay naked and stand as long as possible. Why not take care of your hair during this time, put on some makeup, do a face mask, make a phone call, cook, or host a conference with your colleagues and don’t forget to turn off the camera (lol). In short, in any case take care of at least 5 to 10 minutes minimum while the product dries well, and then put on a large dressing gown, or an old jogging three sizes above if necessary. Leave on for the time indicated and follow the product’s advice. Be careful to choose clothes that are not too precious and preferably dark: the pretty silk negligee will be stained, prefer dark cotton which can easily be washed.


-Do not be afraid of the color that develops, the final result (always clearer) is only seen after the shower. Avoid aggressive shower gels (with sulphates, ed) which will make the self-tanner go away much faster, dab gently with a towel without rubbing it on the skin, and always hydrate the skin well afterwards to fix the tan and then maintain beautiful results.


-And so, to get the self-tanner off, simply use a scrub, or a horsehair glove for the bravest (or the less sensitive skin, lol).




There are two products that I like for their ease of application and for their effectiveness (and which do not smell like self-tan): the “Self Tan Express Mousse” from St Tropez, which is left on for one hour for a “light” effect, two hours for a “medium” effect, and three for a “dark” effect. I also use Love Tan’s “Bronzing mousse” which is left on overnight and whose tan you discover in the morning, after the shower. In the case of an application that is left on overnight, plan to wash the sheets the next day, because they will be stained. Once again, avoid sleeping in precious sheets, even if the self-tanner vanishes when your wash them, prevention is better than cure.





Self-tanner, the fake

These are the progressive self-tanning products. I know of two kinds: moisturizers with a gradual tan effect and self-tanning drops that we add to our own moisturizer. The effect is more or less intense, depending on the brand or the intensity of the product.


These products are great because they avoid the big risk of error, but don’t prevent small spots or welts if not applied carefully. So use it on days when you still have the time to apply the product well and the patience to see a result, over several days or several weeks, depending on the intensity of the product.


My favorite is the Clarins Radiance-Plus Golden Glow Booster. These are self-tanning drops to add to the moisturizer of our choice. The effect is visible after a short week, depending on the amount of product used and the color of your skin at the start.





Make-up, the fake of the fake

These are sublimating or colored oils or creams, tanning powders or creams that vanish in the shower.


-I tried Charlotte Tilbury’s “supermodel” cream of which I got a sample. It is a firming skincare product that evens out the skin, but it does not tan, it’s like an highlighter for the skin. A little “your skin but better” effect, with some glitter, that’s all, but it’s nice. Knowing the smallness of the tube received, I did not see any effect on the firmness.


-Kora Organics’ sun kissed body glow is a body care oil with a botanical scent that very lightly tans the skin, brings it light, but it is also a treatment that helps elasticity and skin firmness. I use this body oil to enhance my skin in summer or when I already have self-tanner. It brings a real “good health” dimension to the skin. This is also what I use when I don’t have time to apply a self-tanner, but still want a light Hollywood effect on my “bidet” or “sink” skin, lol.


-I don’t use colored body creams that really stain the skin because they stain clothes too, and I don’t like that. Always afraid of finding myself with brown stains on my clothes, chairs or tablecloths, and in summer, with perspiration, hello damage. Everyone has their own preferences, but I have already seen the color and the effect of it on other people, and it is really great. Looks real tan.


-Since I never use a self-tanner on my face, because they are comedogenic products and I don’t want to have pimples or blackheads after use, when I need a little help to hide a difference in color between the body and the face, I use a bronzer in powder or cream format nobody sees the trick, lol. For more information, I invite you to take a look at this article.





Here I hope I gave you the desire to be naked and tanned at home. If we can’t go on vacation, let’s make the sun come home, and under the skirts.




XO 🧴





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